With the changing times, people are changing themselves, the way they love. They have changed their beliefs, which is also good up to some extent. Many people today are living in the so-called “ Live-in Relationships ” and give more priority in place of marriage. So does live-in relationships are better than marriage?? So, before starting a discussion let me tell you about live-in relationships.
What is a Live-In Relationship?
Basically live-in relationship is a situation where couples live together under the same roof without tying the knots of marriage, without taking the wedding vows. If you want to ask whether it is legal. So, yes it is completely legal in India and all over the world. However, Live-in relationships are not recognized under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955.
Why the older generation is so against the Live-In Relationships?
According to the older people, those who belong to the older generations, our elders, two individuals from the opposite sex can live together only if they are either married or they are brother and sister. If you aren’t married to your partner, you can not live with them. Sex, and oh sex, you must not have sex with anyone before you are married. They have made sexuality something to be ashamed of. Where sex (synergic energy exchange) is one of the most beautiful experiences that one can have. They are stuck to their old, hollow beliefs, so much that they never challenged them.
Many of our elders aren’t happy with their marriages. Marriage for them is a sacred vow which must not be broken even if it gives you nothing but unhappiness. No matter how much of a burden it is to you, you have gotta stay true to it and drag the wagon. Even if you are dragging it all alone, on your own. They would not go for divorce even if they are being hurt. They would prefer getting hurt and suffering over all the love and happiness they could get, on getting out of that wedding.
The reason for their suffering is not accepting that they were born for love and not suffering. A wedding is not a wagon to drag but a choice you get to choose your partner over and over again, to choose love. Live-In is not an answer to that, but a live-in relationship surely gives you a way to practice your choice instead of being into something you have to drag. You can experiment and in case it doesn’t work you will always be free to practice your will.
Why people today are inclined towards the Live-in concept?
Mainly because of movies. People are what they consume. As they consume media which shows more liv-in, they want it more, they want to experience it more. Other reasons could be because of peer pressure, well that is something you must not be thinking about but many people live in a live-in relationship because their friends ask them to. Another one could be challenging society. We do what we are specifically asked not to. We rebel for our freedom.
In our Indian society, we are bounded with numerous cultures and traditional norms that we have to follow. And thus sometimes it makes us fall in an extremely stressful and depressive situation. We need a source of freedom and relaxation from our ethics and all. It feels like a neck’s noose and they just want to be free. We need a way to exercise our will, a way to be freed. we need to get out of the cultural ethics that we are forced to follow.
Another reason is that Some people also don’t believe in marriage. They believe that the most important thing in a relationship is love and trust and they don’t need a marriage certificate to prove their relationship. This type of mentality is common in this generation. According to research divorced lawyers are the richest lawyers in the whole world. It clearly depicts the high proportion of the couples engaging themselves in divorce taking activities.
Pros of Live-in Relationships
Well when you have a choice to make, your will to exercise, you will always grow and evolve as a being. Why?
- Financial Freedom: Financial freedom is what a soul yearns to experience. Instead, you will have an option to create and grow a beautiful relationship by creating a financially free lifestyle. You just shared your daily expenses rather than keeping yourself under a heavy load of banking operations or bursting your head with other financial statements. Working together without any pressure and trying to securing your bright future.
- Wedding Burden: Love is an option, an expression, a choice you have to make. It must be the same. A wedding should not be a boring loaf of bread. You don’t feel a burden of responsibilities. No responsibilities of family and children. You just try to build good and effective communication with each other and maintain a balanced lifestyle. Live-in gives you freedom, hence happiness.
- Testing Compatibility: Moreover, It is another way to judge the compatibility between the couples. I am not just talking about sexual compatibility. They prefer live-in to assure that they can tolerate the nonsense and daily habits of their partner. If they truly are the soulmate they are looking for to spend the rest of their lives. Maybe you fight and argue with each other but in the end, you will come to a result that whether it will gonna work or not.
- Mutual Respect: This is the main point I personally believe carries more weight than other advantages. Yes, Respect is the success key to any healthy and successful relationship. When you both know you are free and as well as your partner. You both can leave each other at any time. No one gonna points a finger towards you. This is the situation where the actual test of loyalty takes place. How much you respect each other and appreciate the efforts they make to see a little smile on your face.
Cons of Live-In Relationships
Everything has an upside and a downside. Sometimes people get too obsessed with their partners that they don’t let their partners exercise their birthrights, the freedom. People take it way too casually and apparently cheat. Consequently, It completely ruins the relationship.
- Women Suffer a lot: Yes, It’s true. Doesn’t matter what we say, biologically, mentally as well as emotionally women suffer more than men in a live-in relationship. Because of the thoughts that What is going to happen when her parents will going to know about it? What society will say? What will be the reaction of my dad? These things really affect her mental as well as emotional health. The main fear she had is the failure of the relationship which can ruin her life.
- Easy Way Out: You think the biggest advantage of live-in is strong commitment right. Just think if it converts to disadvantage. Sometimes, there is a lack of commitment either from both sides. They don’t take a relationship seriously. Even a small argument can make them to move out of this journey. Because you have the freedom to leave the relationship as you have not tied the marriage knots. Hence, You are not in any legal or financial binding.
- You want something more: Sometimes all you want is a serious commitment, you want a wedding, a family, which your partner might not be yet ready for. You would want something more than sex, a family. Where you feel that something is going wrong in your life.
Is Live-In Relationships a wrong choice?
But isn’t the scenario similar for all the relationships, for marriages as well? Doesn’t they become toxic as well? So, shouldn’t the people be given a chance to find what they truly want before settling down for something less than what they deserve? Well personally, I don’t find live-in so wrong. In fact, I believe that nothing is wrong, things are wrong for you when they don’t serve your values. There is no need to think about “Log kya kahenge“. See “Logo ka to kaam hi hai kehna“. This decision has been taken by the mutual understanding of the you guys. No one force you to do all these things. Parents should not force your kids to do something they don’t want. You should let them do what they want.
So are the elders and the society wrong? I don’t completely agree with this statement that they were wrong either, they just wanted you to share the most amazing experience, which is sex with someone, who will always be there with you, who will take the sacred vows of the marriage and be there for you through all the highs and lows, through all the rough patches and all the glorious moments. Most importantly who will not hurt and remain forever with you.
As a result of this discussion, Both relationships are right in their respective places. They both need love, respect, trust, and care and without it neither marriage they can make successful nor a live-in relationship. So, keep a mutual understanding and give respect your partner deserve and never leave them alone in any situation.